Health Insurance.

Tonight, I had to pick up my monthly prescriptions. I have three prescriptions right now: my insulin, my glucose monitoring test strips, and Metformin (which is used to combat insulin resistance). Because it’s my first prescription refill of the year, it’s also time for my yearly deductible. This time? A whopping $255. Yikes. Quite a hit to the wallet. At first I balked at the amount, thinking something was up with my insurance, but then I realized, no, it’s the first week of the year.

Then I was just angry. I despise spending so much money for this God-forsaken illness that I certainly don’t want and had nothing to do with (::pointed look at Ricki Lake and GMA::). This isn’t meant to get into a health insurance reform debate, more of a comment on the fact that there is no cure and I have to spend so much of my hard-earned money forever. It’s not like this is a one-time thing like a flu or a cold or a broken arm. But forever.

Then I thought about how much more this would cost me if I didn’t have health insurance. That $255 is actually a drop in the bucket compared to the amount of money it actually costs to keep me alive. But I have health insurance. There are a lot of people who don’t. My friends. Family members. I am lucky. I was one step away from not having health insurance when I lost my job last summer. I know what it means to have your life, not just an easier, more comfortable life, but your actual existence depend on health insurance, because without it, you’re not sure how it would be possible to stay alive and then have money left over for, you know, food. Life-sustaining medication or food? Tough choice. It’s really scary to think someone could take that away from you for no good reason other than they don’t need you anymore. It’s a very vulnerable position to be in.

I have health insurance. It costs a lot of money. I don’t know how long I’ll have it for. And it isn’t anywhere close to being perfect. But it helps me afford the medication I need. That’s something to be thankful for.